Sunday, May 21, 2017

Long time

It's been a long time since I blogged... or journaled.. or wrote down any of my thoughts. And as much as I would love to have an excuse as to why, I simply don't have one. Life is busy. Raising four kids is tough. Like riding a bike up a hill with two flat tires tough. I find that I can't remember everything about my kids that I want to. So in an effort to record these events and milestones. And my emotions involved with all of it, I have to start writing again.
Let's start with the beginning. Emma is 13. I can't even believe that I'm writing that. I don't know where it went. But in the back of my mind all I can think is that I really only have 5 years left with her under my roof. I already miss her. I miss her chubby cheeks and dimpled fingers. I miss her innocence. I miss the way she used to think I was the smartest and best woman in the world. However I will say that she figured that one out pretty quickly. She has turned into the most wonderful young lady. She is responsible and determined. She sets goals for herself that I never dreamed for her. I love how she takes control of a situation. She takes responsibility for her self and for her future. I truly can't wait to watch her grow over the next 5 years.

Payton Danley is about to graduate from 5th grade. Next year I will be the mom to 2 middle school girls. I  could not be more proud of her. She works hard. She marches to the beat of her own drum. She is a loyal friend and  a determined softball teammate. Her will to achieve astounds me on most days. She has a quiet and watchful eye. And in all of our kids I see Erics personality in her the most. She worries about people. Last Wednesday as I checked her out from her bus on her field trip, she quietly asked her teacher who the girl she sat with on the bus would find to sit with on the way home. She worried that she would have to sit alone. I pray she will aways have that tender heart and I pray that I will be more like her in that manner. As she is heading to middle school next year I know I will miss the last of the class parties with my two girls. As they grow older they are trading in Their days of playing dress up and American Girls for Netflix and FaceTime with their friends. Through it all I can only look around and wonder where the time has gone. I am left only with the choice to cherish these days I have left with the girls and hold tight to the moments I have with their little brothers because I know all to well how quickly these days pass us by.
Easton. What a ray of sunshine God has given us in this little boy. I catch him at 6 years old  somewhere between the sensitivity of an innocent kindergartener and the toughness of an elementary aged little boy. He sees the word through fresh eyes. And treats everything as an adventure. He loves to play and explore. He is too busy for hugs during the day but in the quiet of the night when he is still and a little by drowsy , he lets me snuggle him and let's me know that the best part of his day was this right here. This hug and kiss and snuggle. Most of the time, it's the best part of my day too. When the girls weee little I didn't cherish those bed time moments like I do with the boys. I didn't realize that one day they would no longer need me to tuck them in and it just seemed like one more chore to do at the end of a long day. Now I see it as the prize I get after mothering these kids at the end of the day. I will take it every time.
Parker. Last but not least. Not that he would allow himself to be least in anyone's mind. He is a spitfire. A lover of life and laughter. A stubborn little man who adores his brother more than anyone in life. He looks to him for fun and guidance. He wants to be with him as much as he can. I pray that Easton will be the type of big brother that leads him well and shows him love and life. The type that leaves footprints worthy of being followed. Since I have taken a new job, I now have the flexibility to work from home on Fridays. I have loved getting to spend a little one-on-one time with him. In getting to know his personality, I see in him the desire to learn. The quest for knowledge and growth. He asks more questions than I am ready to answer and in the moments when he is quiet I know he is pondering his next move.

My kids are growing up so fast. In trying to get through the day I forget most of the small moments that are worth remembering. So I am challenging myself to take the time, slow down and write it down for my future self to look back and reflect upon.